


Worth It

by SkellingtonZero



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Romance, war injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkellingtonZero/pseuds/SkellingtonZero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin is in love with Harry and after the War, when Harry runs away with Ginny he follows; hoping against all odds that he might find him and prove to Harry that he really does love him and want's the best for him. And that running away doesnt solve anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by: dravos fan
> 
> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belong to their respected owners. No copyright infringement intended.

"Listen Harry." I grabbed his arm to stop him from running off. "We might die and I just want to tell you I love you." I squeezed Harry's arm and swallowed the lump in my throat. "More than just a friend." I blinked away the tears and continued to stare at Harry's shoulder. "I'm gay Harry."

Harry didn't say or do anything for a few seconds which only made me more nervous, he just stood there his body tense while I continued to grip his arm. Come on Harry say something! Recognize me! _Look_ at me!

All around us people were cursing and running towards the Death Eaters, the time had come to go back out to battle and fight till death, or to freedom. But before I could let Harry go I had to tell him how I really felt.

Eventually he shook me off gruffly and avoided my eyes. "Listen Colin, I'm sorry but I don't like you that way." He took a step forward but stopped. "You should leave before you get hurt." And then he ran off into the heart of the battle.

I couldn't believe this. Just like that? Rejected? I swallowed thickly and rubbed away the tears stinging my eyes and squared my shoulders; maybe he didn't hear…maybe now wasn't the best time. That had to be it, when this is all over he'll feel better and-

"Colin you idiot watch out!" Someone yelled and I looked up in time to see a Death Eater aiming his wand at me.

"Oh hoo hoo! A little blonde boy all alone! Am I going to have fun with you." He grinned showing his crooked teeth.

"Expelliarmus!" I yelled and disarmed him before running away where I last saw Harry.

I ran through the smoke, tripped over debris and a few dead bodies, dodged spells and jumped over my fallen comrades; along the way I yelled a few –hopefully-helpful spells and came to a rather empty space. "Crap…" I cursed and bent over to catch my breath, I could have sworn I saw Harry come this way. Maybe he went left instead of right?

Above me a heard a loud deafening bang followed by a very ominous crack, by the time I looked up it was too late.

I don't even think I screamed.

**OOO**

When I came too there was a weight on top of me, I groaned and tried to open my eyes; that alone was a struggle. There was blood in my mouth and no feeling in my legs and my ears were ringing. I tried to breathe I tried to grab my wand; but there was nothing I could do.

I was going to die; this was it, this was my end.

Not a spell by a Death Eater, not by taking a spell for someone; no. I'm going to die because of fallen debris. How pathetic.

Just as I was about to start praying to any God I could think of, I heard someone curse and suddenly the weight was lifted off of me.

"I told you to leave." Harry's familiar voice mumbled, but he didn't sound the least bit sympathetic; instead he was cold, emotionless. And shirtless. When did that happen? "Someone stay with him!" He ordered and stood up.

"Gaarryr…" I tried to speak but chocked on my own spit and blood, all I could do was stare up at the back of this man and hope that he would turn around and look at me, see that I just wanted him to speak to me one more time before I died. To entertain and indulge myself before I died I watched him, the sweat dripping down his bare back and soaking the waist band of his jeans, the way his ripped dirty jeans clung to his scratched hips and arse; it was sinful to think he was so gorgeous while in the middle of a battle but I couldn't help myself. I was about to die and the least I could have was a little eyeful.

"I'll watch over him Harry." A female's voice suddenly spoke.

"Thanks Luna." And then he left.

Tear's sprung to my eyes as I watched the man I loved walk away without a backward glance, I watched his muscles work as he stretched his neck and swung his arms around, no doubt warming up for another, possibly the finale battle. Luna blocked my view as she walked over and knelt beside me, her long blonde hair falling over one shoulder. She was covered in dirt and a little blood but seemed in good shape.

"You mustn't worry; Harry will take care of Voldemort. Hold still while I run a diagnostics okay?" She didn't wait for me to reply but just cast the spell, not that it really mattered I couldn't move either way. After a few seconds the body scan was over and she smiled. "You're fine."

I raised an eyebrow at her, is she crazy? Fine? I can't feel the lower half of my body and my mouth's bleeding! That's the exact opposite of fine!

Luna must have seen the look on my face because she just nodded. "You are injured. No doubting that Colin but you will live. You're legs are broken and some ribs as well, you seem to have bite your tongue and such but you will live. None of it is life threatening." She patted my swollen face and I promptly passed out from the blinding pain in my face.

**OOO**

" _He's not doing well."_

" _What does that mean?"_

" _Ron! Let her talk!"_

" _Jeeze Hermione I just-never mind."_

" _As I was saying he isn't doing well."_

" _Has he woken up yet?"_

" _No…He should be coming around any minute."_

I groaned to announce my presence to the world and worked on opening my eyes, blearily I blinked and tried to focus on a face, hoping it was Harry but knowing that that would have been too perfect. The first face to enter my vision was Hermione Granger; she was beaten up and tired looking but alive.

"Hi Colin." She greeted with a smile.

"Hey." I croaked and tried to sit up only to have someone place a secure hand on my shoulder.

"No yet." I looked up to see a mediwitch staring down at me. "Stay still while I run some tests. Do not move."

Stiffly I nodded and turned back to look at Hermione. "What happened?" I mumbled and tried to look around; we were still in Hogwarts, that much was obvious given the amount of people milling around still wearing their ruined clothes with half bandaged wounds and mediwitch who looked like they've been here for ages but could have only arrived hours ago.

"We won." Both Hermione and Ron answered with a grin. "Voldemort's dead. Harry beat him."

Relief washed over me at their words and I couldn't stop the smile from stretching across my face; Harry won. Of course he did he's Harry Freaking Potter! "Great…great…where is he?"

It was then their smiles fell and Ron looked uncomfortable. "Well…" Hermione sighed and avoided looking at anyone. "No one's really seen him since the battle…he sort of wandered off while every was getting checked out and…grieving…" She hung her head and sniffed. "Colin I don't think anyone's told you but you're brother…"

At that I stopped breathing, my brother? Dennis? What about him-shit! All this time I've been pinning over Harry who's…well he's _Harry!_ He doesn't need anyone watching and clinging to him and I forgot all about Denis! I stifled a whimper and stared at Hermione, begging her to continue and just tell me the bad news.

"He's…he's…"

"Colin, he's dead mate." Ron finished for her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry."

I passed out after that.

**OOO**

The next time I woke up it was to the sounds of beeping and the smell of antiseptic, which was not a pleasant way to wake up. I groaned and shifted, trying to make sure I still had a body; I did. It was sore.

"Oh dear don't move I'll fetch a mediwitch okay?" A woman's voice spoke and scurried off but I didn't know who she was; I peeled my eyes open and fumbled to rub them with my bandaged swollen hands. After a few seconds I was able to rub the sleep from my eyes and looked around; I was in a hospital in a bed near the window. Beside the bed were two chairs, one had a woman's large handbag with knitting needles still knitting so I gathered I must be at St. Mungo's. Either that or she was a witch who didn't enter the muggle world very often.

"Hello Colin." A mediwitch greeted as she yanked back the curtain around my bed. She was a tall, middle aged woman with her brown hair pulled back into a sloppy bun; but she seemed friendly. "How do you feel?"

"Sore." I grumbled and smacked my lips. "And thirsty."

She nodded and poured me a glass of water, stuck a straw in it and held it to my lips for me to drink; in seconds I downed the entire cup. "Good. Well you are getting better; you were seriously injured. Both your legs were broken as well as some of your ribs." Absently she started pressing on my chest and stomach. "But you seem to have healed up just fine. Must be that young body of yours." She grinned and prodded my arms. "Ah, to be young again…"

I nodded and looked around, seeing a woman I recognized as Ron Weasley's mother standing off to the side. "Hello dear." She smiled.

"Hi."

The mediwitch scribbled something down on a clipboard before strolling to the end of my bed. "I'll leave you two to chat for a bit but would you like some soup and crackers?"

My head couldn't nod quick enough.

"Good. I'll be back with your food then."

Mrs. Weasley waited until she left before speaking. "I'm Molly Weasley, Ron's Mother." She introduced herself with a warm smile and nod.

"I know." I smiled and felt a twinge of pain in my face; apparently something had hit my cheekbone as well. "I've seen you before. But why are you here?"

She sighed and took a seat, I noticed she was favoring her left leg; she too must have gotten injured in battle. What am I saying? Everyone got injured in battle. "You're parents are having a tough time entering since they are muggles. I figured you might like a mother here when you woke up." She reached over and patted my leg. "Are you hungry? I brought some homemade bread." She winked and pulled out a nicely wrapped packaging; as soon as she unwrapped it the wonderful smell of homemade bread wafted up my nose and teased my stomach. "Go on have a piece." She broke off a manageable piece of bread and gave it to me.

"Thank you Ma'am." My face was red as I bite into its freshly baked goodness, it was weird to be dotted on by someone who wasn't my mother; but it felt nice all the same.

"Oh call me Molly." She waved me off and sat back. "I put a warming charm on it."

"It's good." I complemented around my mouthful; it was better than good it was fantastic! It melted in my sore mouth and the warm buttery goodness made me feel all warm and cozy inside.

"Thank you. Ron and Hermione said they'll come and see you later when they got the chance. So did Luna, that little…well she's special." Mrs. Weasley smiled and broke off another piece of bread. "Here, eat up I brought it for you. But as much as she wants to come I don't think the little dear will be able to make it. She took a spell to the stomach and hit a wall; the poor thing is aching all over."

Nervously I accepted and nibbled on it, she was the perfect person to ask. "What about Harry?"

Immediately her face fell to a pitying expression and she sighed. "His made his decision and we must all respect him for that."

"What are you talking about?"

Mrs. Weasley remained silent for a few seconds before shrugging. "Harry's left the country with Ginny. He said he doesn't want anyone bothering him, he did his job and now he just wants to live his life in peace."

All I could do was stare at this woman and try and digest what she told me. Harry left? With Ginny? Where did he go? Why? Why would he?

"Dear, you must understand how Harry feels; he's never been able to live his own life and now he can so he's left his past behind to look for a brighter future."

I swallowed the piece of bread in my mouth and stared down at my lap. "But you know where he is right? Ginny's your daughter."

"She comes home frequently enough but Harry keeps his distance."

"Aren't you mad?"

"No. Of course not Harry has given us the greatest gift anyone could have ever hoped for. He gave us the gift of a life with freedom and if as payment he wants to be left alone, the least we can do is oblige him."

There wasn't much I could say to that so I said nothing and just sat there, waiting for the mediwitch to come back with my soup. A few minutes later she did and placed it on a roll tray right above my lap and helped me to sit up to eat it before leaving. But I couldn't eat, my stomach was all in knots; Harry was gone. He was no longer in England and he was with Ginny.

"Colin…is there something you want to talk about?" Mrs. Weasley asked as she broke the remainder of the bread into bite sized pieces on his tray.

I sighed and popped a piece of bread into my mouth before answer. "I'm gay and I love Harry."

"Oh my."

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"What?" What sort of question is that?! I glared up at her and huffed.

She smiled apologetically at me. "What I mean is; are you sure you love Harry?"

"Of course I do!" I hissed, face going red with embarrassment.

She nodded wisely and sat back down. "Do you know him well enough to love him is what I mean dear. Are you sure you haven't fallen in love with your idolized version of him?"

Again there wasn't much I could say to that so I didn't say anything and slowly ate my soup. It tasted watery and healthy, she seemed to know I wasn't fond of it and crushed the crackers into the soup for me, insisting it would taste better; she was right. Mrs. Weasley stayed until Ron and Hermione showed up about half an hour later and kissed me goodbye. "Think about what I said okay?"

**OOO**

Ron and Hermione weren't any better; I think they know where Harry is but insist on focusing on myself and getting better. At least that was Hermione's angle.

"Colin you need to think about yourself now." She stood at the end of my bed and pointed at my legs. " _Both_ your legs were broken by a pillar! As much as magic has helped you, you still need to go through physical therapy. And on top of that your brother…or poor Dennis…" Her eyes watered and I had to look away, it was bad enough I was feeling sorry for myself I didn't want her to as well.

"His funeral is in two days." Ron mumbled placing a card on my lap. It was a funeral invitation with the names, dates and information printed on.

"You've been in and out of consciousness for about a week…you're parents delayed it as long as they could." Hermione dabbed at her eyes. "They say you'll be able to go but you won't be ready to stand and walk so long on your own so you'll need a cane. Mrs. Weasley said she'll pick you up but Ron and I insisted that we will. So tomorrow you'll be leaving this place and we'll drop you home."

I barely heard anything they said after that, my head was hurting, my body was hot and I think I drifted off while they were still here.

**OOO**

Dennis was laid to rest with the other fallen hero's that defended and fought against the Dark Lord; his grave was marked proudly and stood tall with the others. Many people attended his funeral, some I knew, and some I imagine attended each and every funeral of all who died in the War. I was made to wear a formal muggle suit and tie, which I appreciated because I still wasn't use to walking with a cane.

It was a wizard funeral, so most of the moving of the casket and burying was done with magic given the fact that almost everyone was injured in some form or another. Mother and Father stood by my side, each wallowing in their own pit of despair; cautiously I moved over to take a bouquet of flowers from the arms of a woman and slowly placed it on my brother's grave.

"Hey Dennis, I'm sorry." I mumbled, not wanting anyone to overhear. "I should have been there with you, we should have fought side by side not…I'm sorry."

Unexpectedly someone's hand clamped down on my shoulder and I wobbled on my bad leg and cane. "Sorry!" It turned out to be Ron with Hermione by his side. "How you doing mate?"

I shrugged; there wasn't an answer to that question. Not a proper one anyway.

"Mum said to come over whenever you like." He continued on lowly. "You're always welcome at our house so don't be a stranger. Really, don't."

**OOO**

But I became a stranger, the day after Dennis' funeral I left. I just packed a bag, threw on a jacket, grabbed my cane and never looked back. There wasn't a specific reason in my head to just leaving, but in my heart I was looking for Harry. Deep down I kept hoping I would just walk into him, find him somewhere out there.

To make money I did odd jobs; first it was kind of hard since no one would give a guy with a cane manual labor to do but there were some jobs, like filing and the odd babysitting gig. Odd jobs really. Things got better when my leg healed enough to ditch the cane and I just walked with a limp, then I was able to get real jobs like being a dock hand, stacking boxes, cleaning the roads, stonemasonry; they all paid my way around the country and eventually around Europe and the entire time I kept hoping I would find Harry.

**OOO**

**Two Years Later**

"Hey Colin why don't you take off now? I can finish up." I looked over my shoulder to see my boss walking over with a rope wrapped around his shoulder. "Don't you worry about pay, you've been working hard all day I'll give you an entire day alright?" He smiled.

I smiled back and shrugged and finished marking the tree I was working on; I had taken up a job working on a pine tree farm for money while wondering around hoping in vain to find Harry. It was hard, cold boring work but it was work nonetheless and my boss was a nice guy. "It's alright John I don't mind."

He nodded but didn't move. "Don't you want to get home for the Holidays? You said you came from England. That's at least a day's travel from these parts, out here in the farmlands."

Wearily I turned to face him, I couldn't really lie to John; he was too nice to do that but I didn't really want to tell him the truth either. Absently I kicked the snow under our feet and sighed, he was just going to stand there till I caved. "I haven't got a home or family to go back to in England."

His face fell. "Oh…Colin…"

"I mean," I continued, not wanting his pity. "I have a Mother and Father but you see…my brother died and well that…that destroyed them and…"

"The Holiday's just aren't the same." He finished with a heavy sigh. "Look come on back to the house. It's cold and the wife made some stew before she went to see her sister." He turned and looked up at the blue sky before leading the way out of the forest.

I followed John in silence and in minutes we were out of the forest and walking up the path to his large farm house. Twice I've been inside; the first time was to get the job, the second when I accidently smashed my toe.

"Wipe your feet on the mat before walking in."

Absently I did as he told and looked around, that house had a cozy feel and reminded me of the way home use to be. There was a lived in feel and a fire roaring somewhere, I shook my head to get rid of any creeping memories before I burst into tears and followed the sounds of John into the kitchen. The kitchen was large but warm and inviting with worn wooden chairs and a huge wooden table set up near a kitchen fire. Slowly I took a seat, inhaling the delicious scent of the stew in the air.

"So you're family huh?" John began as he placed a steaming hot bowl of stew in front of me then took the seat opposite me and dug in. "Eat up, it's good."

Wearily I picked up the spook and took a mouthful, it was good. Warm and hearty, just the thing someone needs after working in snow all day.

"I suppose after that I wouldn't want to go home either…that why you wandered all the way over to Scotland for work?"

I nodded, not willing to tell him I was actually hoping to find Harry. Yeah, he was a muggle and very kind but if it's one thing I learned on the road it was that not everyone was accepting of gay's and it was just easier to keep that information quiet.

"That's got to be tough. I lost my brother awhile back, bad accident; tore my parents apart but you know what? You can't run from it." He chewed a tough piece of meat and sucked on the bone. "That stuff will stay with you no matter where you go." He nodded sagely. "You've got to face it at some point otherwise you will never move on."

I just nodded, what he was saying made sense but it wasn't the reason I was out here; I was looking for Harry. What Mrs. Weasley said stuck with me, maybe I really didn't know who Harry was and I shouldn't be throwing the word 'love' around so easily but I just wanted the chance to get to know him and maybe _grow_ to love him. Was that asking too much?

"I'm ordering you to leave early and go home." John continued, happily finishing off his stew. "With pay. Whether you come back after the holidays is up to you. But I won't be angry if you don't."

He didn't say anything after that and I finished my warm, tasty stew in silence.

**OOO**

Since John requested I visit my parents I did.

Then regretted it; the atmosphere home was depressing to say the least. They were disappointed in me, miserable about Dennis, and didn't communicate at all. I couldn't stay there so I went to the one other place I could think of, Mrs. Weasley's.

So there I stood on her doorstep in the freezing snow knocking on her front door. "Please be home…please be home…please be home."

Suddenly the door opened and I was staring up into the face of someone I didn't know. "Well if you're looking for me you're in luck good looking." The man was tall with shaggy red hair, an earring and a scar on his otherwise handsome face. Actually the scar sort of fit him…

"Bill who is it?" Mrs. Weasley called from somewhere in the house.

"I don't know Ma, some guy." The guy named Bill grinned down at me and I nearly shit myself; he was fucking intimidating. "Who are you?"

"Colin." I answered immediately.

Bill nodded, took a deep breath then yelled. "Say's his names Colin!"

"Who?" Mrs. Weasley shouted back.

"Blonde hair, skinny, looks to have muscles and favors…what? Which leg is that? His...Right leg!"

"Show him in Bill!"

Instantly he swung the door open further and motioned me inside. "Come on in, go through there." He pointed to the right, shut the door then disappeared somewhere to the left. Nervously I wandered into the house and into the kitchen where I found Mrs. Weasley cooking. As soon as she saw me she smiled and pulled me into a crushing hug.

"Colin! How are you? It's been two whole years-you've grown!" She laughed and pinched my cheeks. "Are you hungry? Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes but I have beef pies I can heat up if you're hungry."

I smiled at her mothering and shrugged off my jacket, it was nice to be so welcomed. "I'm fine thanks. How are you?" I asked and hung my jacket over the back of a chair while she still went about warming up a plate of beef pies.

"I'm wonderful dear! You've grown so much, is that muscles I see?" She joked and placed a cup of juice in front of me then sighed and just looked at me. "I can't believe this is the same Colin sitting right here before my eyes. How are your legs?"

"Good. I've got a limp but nothing I can't handle. Doesn't stop me."

She nodded and magicked the now warm pies in front of me. "I know. Eat up, you've been away for two years, no one's heard from you." In her voice I sensed disappointment but she didn't push it, she frowned.

As usual I couldn't argue that point so I settled for eating some pies.

"The boys will be around soon so you'll meet my sons." Mrs. Weasley sighed and went back to cooking. "You met Bill, his wife Fleur is here as well. You know Ron and Hermione and Fred and George but you'll meet Charlie and Percy."

"I hear voices! Is Ginny here yet?!" Someone yelled and came charging into the room with a heard behind them. It turned out it was just Ron with Fred and George behind him but something he said caught my attention. Ginny? Harry is with Ginny right? If she's coming here I-

"Ronald Weasley behave yourself! You too Fred! George!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. "We have a guest."

"You _always_ have guests." Either Fred or George spoke, I can't tell the difference between them; I know one of them is missing an ear but both of them grew their hair out so it covered their ears. "There's Fleur."

Then the other one spoke. "And Hermione the know-it-all."

"And-"

" _Boys."_

Then all eyes turned to me so I did the only think I could think to do. I waved. "Hey. How are you guys?"

Ron snorted. "Well looks whose back! Just went off without a word and shows up here two years later?" He grinned despite the warning look from Mrs. Weasley and sat down at the table across from me. "Got to say, you've got style mate." And laughed.

So I spent the remainder of the day there with the Weasley's sitting, laughing, talking and in general having a nice time. Turn out Ginny was arriving the next day but Mrs. Weasley kindly invited me to stay, she set me up with Ron and Hermione in Ron's room. The Weasley's were all welcoming, with laughter, jokes and pranks all around; they made me feel genuinely happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Around ten thirty Mrs. Weasley shooed everyone off to bed though no one was a child anymore, everyone obliged with goodnights all around.

Hermione had set up my bed with blankets and pillows while I was changing into my pajamas and when I returned I found hot tea and biscuits for us all laid out on the small table on the rug. We all sat around it while Hermione poured the tea.

"Mum likes to make sure we have tea in the evenings." Ron explained while eating a biscuit. "Thanks 'Mione."

"So Colin," Hermione began as she scooted my now filled cup back to me. "What brings you here after two years?"

As much as I wanted to lie, I knew she would see right through me so instead I shrugged. "My boss advised I go back home. But home isn't the same so I came here."

"You still looking for Harry?" Ron asked and Hermione punched him.

"Ron!"

"Sorry! But I want to know!"

"Yeah." I mumbled. "I just…do you know where he is?"

Hermione shook her head no and sipped her tea. "No one knows where Harry is."

I nearly choked on spit in surprise but gathered myself before I spoke. "But Ginny…"

"Is with Harry." Hermione nodded. "And she always comes here but only she knows where Harry and she are living. Sometime's Harry comes with her but that's rare."

"Why do you want to see Harry so badly anyway?" Ron asked. "Leave the man alone, there's a reason he and Ginny are always moving you know." He popped another biscuit in his mouth. "To avoid people and being found. Maybe later on he'll you know…not be so, what's that word Hermione?"

"Reclusive."

"Yes! Reclusive but now he is so you know…leave him alone."

In that moment I hated Ron Weasley.

**OOO**

Everyone was gathering at the Burrow for the annual Holiday party and Mrs. Weasley and Ron, and Hermione all insisted I stay and join in the fun so she sent Ron and I off to buy new clothes and by the time we went back Ginny had arrived. She had grown since the last time I saw her, she was taller and more woman-like with curves, sharp defined features and long red hair; I nearly fainted when I saw her. Not because I was physically attracted to her, but because she wasn't what I was expecting. If this is what Harry way sleeping with every night I don't blame him for never leaving home.

"Colin? Wow it's really you!" Ginny smiled warmly at me and gave me a hug and kiss. "You've really gotten taller…and muscular!" She squeezed my bicep and laughed. "Mum told me you were here but I didn't believe her."

"Nice to see you too Ginny." I smiled and shrugged. "They insisted I stay."

"Wouldn't be a Weasley family if we didn't." The brother named Charlie grinned and took my suit. "Is this a muggle suit? Weird…" He eyed the jacket, shirt and slacks. "I'll just put this in your-Ron! Give me that before Mum sees you!" He grabbed Ron's package he was balancing on his head but stifled a laugh.

"It's always like that here." Ginny handed me a glass of butterbeer and stood by my side. "I miss it at times…so where have you been?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "I hear you've been traveling for two years straight then suddenly turn up on Mum's front door."

"Yup. Been on the road." I answered but didn't volunteer anything, as much as I just wanted to shake her until she told me where Harry was she made me nervous. I don't know if it's because she's Harry's girl or because she was attractive but nevertheless it made me uneasy.

"Oh really? You're not going to tell me where you've been what you're doing? Come on; entertain me with stories of your adventures on the road?"

At that I had to chuckle. "What about you? I heard you and Harry move around a lot too, shouldn't be that different."

Oddly enough a dark look crossed her features for a split second before she looked away and shrugged. "It's different with two people than with one." She stated and sipped her butterbeer. "Where you scared?"

"Sorry?"

"Traveling by yourself were you scared?"

It never crossed my mind to be afraid on the road, why should I be? "No…I suppose war does that. Makes you forget all about fears."

"I guess…" She sighed and shifted. "It's weird isn't it? Thinking that we've all survived the War and now look at us, drinking, laughing…what am I saying it's the holidays!"

"Of course it is!" Either Fred or George yelled back. "Where have you been Ginny? Did you hit your head?"

Just then Mrs. Weasley walked into the room and looked around at everyone drinking and laughing. "Come on everyone go change! Our guests will be here soon!" And promptly shooed everyone upstairs.

**OOO**

The guests turned out to be Luna and Neville who much to my surprise was married and she was with children. Twins apparently. We all talked and laughed, drank and ate till late; I was about to go into the kitchen to get some more snacks when I heard talking coming from the kitchen. Immediately I stopped and pressed myself against the wall to listen and see if it was something I could interrupt or walk away from.

"Oh Mum I just don't know what to do anymore." Ginny sighed and it sounded like she was rubbing her face. "Harry he's…he's not getting better. I thought for sure by now he would want to come back to England." I couldn't believe my luck! It was Ginny talking about Harry! I leaned further against the wall to flatten myself.

Someone pulled out a chair, most likely Mrs. Weasley and sat down. "Ginny sit down, here have some tea."

"Thanks." She slurped when she drank, or was that a sob? "I'm so confused Mum I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!"

"Ginny…"

"He has us in a _lodge_ Mum! _A lodge!"_

A lodge? Like a ski lodge? A cabin? What? I strained to listen in and prayed that Ginny would give more information.

"Oh honey I know this is tough for you."

Ginny sniffled, someone grabbed a tissue and she blew her nose.

"I really want to come back to England, it's so hard always moving all the time and the team they are getting so frustrated with it too…it's putting a strain on everything."

"Are you sure he's not changing?"

"…I asked him to marry me."

My heart nearly stopped. She proposed? Are they getting married? That means I can…I can _never_ get a chance with Harry! _Ever!_

"And?" Mrs. Weasley prompted excitedly.

Ginny let out a wine, which reminded me suspiciously of a dog. "He said nooo…" Then broke down sobbing.

"Oh Ginny my poor baby!" Mrs. Weasley cooed and no doubt right now she was cuddling her baby girl close and kissing her. "I'm so sorry! So sorry to hear that!"

"He…he doesn't want kids either!"

"Awww no no just give him time! He's under a lot of pressure now…"

"He doesn't want to move on Mum! He's stuck in the past!"

"Ginny…"

"Mum no! Harry…Harry needs help…" She blew her nose. "Help I…I don't think I alone can give him."

Their voices suddenly dropped so low I had to strain to hear.

"What are you saying? That Harry needs a-a-no! No he doesn't he-"

"Yes he does Mum, I'm with him every day he's always tense and moody and…isolation isn't good for him but he refuses to see even Ron." She blew her nose again and it sounded like Mrs. Weasley got her some water. "I thought maybe if I proposed, showed I was really invested in this relationship he would…I don't know snap out of it. Rush home to celebrate with Ron and Fred and George but it only made things worse…"

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"Of course! I even sent Ron to St Anton and persuaded Harry to go down to the bar to surprise him! That…didn't go so well."

St Anton is that where he is now?

"Oh are you two Austria now?"

"Yeah…it's so snowy and dreadful. I worry about that gloomy atmosphere affecting him. I me-"

I didn't have to listen anymore, I ran out of there without my winter jacket and disapperated as soon as I could. I was going to go to Harry, and I was going to talk to him.

**OOO**

I knew it was wrong.

My conscience knew it was wrong.

But I couldn't stop myself there I stood outside a wooden cabin wand ready; I muttered an unlocking spell on the front door and went in. When I got my bearings I found myself inside the living room, the lights were dim and somewhere near I could hear the shower running.

It was then worry began to set in, so much so I couldn't even bring myself to look around. Anxiously I began to pace wondering if I should leave, will I be arrested, what do I fucking do?!

But soon enough the shower turned off and someone came out of the bathroom. That someone was Harry Potter.

"Who the fuck are you?!" He yelled and sneered at me but I couldn't answer. I just stood there like an idiot gawking at him.

There he stood still soaking wet with only a towel haphazardly tied around his waist. My gaze was fixed on his hair, following the water droplets as they ran down his face, onto his muscular, slightly hairy chest and then disappeared into the towel.

Damn that towel.

"I heard the alarm trip now answer me before I call the police and have you arrested." He growled and it was his pissed off voice that broke me out of my stupor.

"Harry it's me." I whispered and cleared my throat. "Colin. Colin Creevey."

Harry scowled and took in my dress jacket, slacks tie and shoes, my height and build then snorted and shook his head. "Of course it's you." He turned his back and walked to what I assume is his bedroom. "Go away Colin. Now."

"Harry, listen can't we talk?"

"No."

"Why not?"

He cursed and punched the wall, leaving a nice dent. "BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE OR TALK TO ANYONE FROM MY FUCKING PAST!" He yelled and punched the wall again before stalking into his bedroom and slamming the door. I heard him cursing and throwing things before things got quiet again.

I considered leaving, running away but I just couldn't do it. My heart wouldn't let me; this may be the last time I ever see this man again and I'm go-

Suddenly the door opened again this time Harry was dressed in a shirt and jeans. "You're still here."

"Yeah."

"Why won't you just leave me the hell alone huh?" He mumbled and threw himself down on the couch then pointed at the chair. "Have a seat."

Slowly I sat down, my limp showing.

Idly he picked at a hole in his jeans before taking a deep breath and blowing it out his nose. "You have a limp."

I nodded. "How's your hand?"

"Healed it."

"Right."

"Tell me why you won't leave me the hell alone. Ginny told me how before you left you pestered Ron and Hermione." He smirked at me. "Yeah, I know all about you running away after your brother's funeral and how no one, not even your parents heard from you since."

Ignoring his harsh words I said the only thing I could think of. "I love you Harry."

He rolled his eyes. "Not this bullshit again."

"It's not bullshit! Okay yeah…I don't know you _so_ well but in my heart I love you Harry! Why won't you just give me a chance to get to know you and show you how I really feel?"

"Because I'm with Ginny!"

"But-"

"Colin you don't even know what love is. You know what _obsession_ is but not love." He sneered at me and adjusted his glasses, which were thin wire framed that suited him better. "Go shovel your shit somewhere else and leave me alone."

I gritted my teeth and stared at Harry, he looked so angry and lost; just the shadow of the proud, strong man he use to be. "And you do?"

"Do what?" He snapped.

"Know what love is? Do you love Ginny?"

He stared at me his gaze hard and unemotional. "Why do you have a limp?"

"Old war injury." I joked, trying to lighten the mood. "But I'm fine."

"I can see that."

I sent him a half smile. "Harry why won't you give me a chance?"

He continued to stare at me his jaw tight and hands fisting before he sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Because I'm a fucking mess Colin. It's simple. I've already fucked up Ginny's life, I'm surprised she hasn't run away from me yet do you really think I'm going to drag anyone else into this hell with me? I'm not a complete asshole."

At that I snorted. "That welcome you gave me says otherwise." I muttered. "But I don't think you're hopeless Harry; there are people willing to help if you let them. Most specifically _me_ but there are others too."

He grunted.

"I'm serious Harry. Give me a chance."

"To what? Love me? Sorry someone's got that base covered Colin so move on. Go find someone else there are plenty of fish in the sea."

"True but you're the only fish that's caught my eye." And it was true; I've seen many attractive guys in my travels; blonde, brunettes even red heads. But no one quite like Harry.

"Colin."

I stood up and walked over to him and knelt on the floor by his side. "Harry all I'm asking for is a chance to help you, get to know you. What have you got to lose?" I whispered.

He just started down at me with this indescribable look on his face. "I don't know." He whispered before kissing me.

I'll be honest; it wasn't the world's best kiss or anything of the sort, it barely even qualified as a kiss. My leg was cramping up from the injury, I was losing my balance, Harry's glasses were digging into my face but it was amazing nonetheless.

Too soon he pulled away, and me being me I followed with a peck of my own; then promptly fell over.

"Colin?" He leaned over the edge of the couch to look at me.

I groaned and massaged my leg, cursing my war injury. "Hey no, its fine I'm fine."

Harry nodded but stood up and helped me to my feet. "War injury huh? From the ah…yeah. I remember." He sighed and scratched the back of his head.

He looked so cute and innocent there, for a minute he was the old Harry I knew so I just did it, I grabbed his face and kissed him. And after a few licks his lips parted and I was in heaven. Harry kissed very much like he fought; hard with biting and grunts and soon enough it was no longer a gentle kiss but a fight for dominance.

I let him win.

But the need for air overwhelmed the need to be defeated by Harry and his tongue of wonder so I pulled back gasping for air.

"Colin." He began but I shut him up with one hand over his mouth.

"No." I shook my head. "Don't Harry." I nipped at his slightly stumbled chin and began to walk him backwards to the bedroom. "Just don't think, act. For _once_ just act." I mumbled against his skin.

And he actually took my advice to heart and stopped talking and started kissing.

Within seconds my nice suit jacket was on the floor with his shirt and if I didn't help him with my belt and buttons I'm fairly certain he would have ripped them off.

"Mhhmm…" I groaned into his mouth seconds before he threw me onto the bed. Shamelessly I wiggled out of my pants and boxers and lay naked on his bed. His expression was that of hunger and I would be lying if I didn't blush under the weight of his gaze. "Come here Harry."

As if by instinct he shucked off his jeans and boxers then jumped on me, kissing and nipping at my lips, neck and shoulders. "Colin…" He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I…I can't have sex with you…" He groaned and rutted against me, his length pushing into my thigh.

I wanted to tell him it's alright, to not worry but I knew that would just crush him on top of everything else; pushing him sexually would just be an asshole of a thing to do so I calmed myself enough to think and kissed him deeply, my tongue tangling with his own and for once he didn't fight me for dominance. Slowly my hands ran down his toned body down to his hips then wrapped around his length.

"Colin." He warned.

"I understand." I mumbled against his temple as he breathed against my neck and I began to run my hand down his length, causing him to moan. I started slow then built up a steady speed, once in awhile running his finger over the slit; it wasn't long and I was clumsily but before I knew it Harry was coming. Hard.

He collapsed on top of me, crushing me but I wasn't about to complain, not when I have a sweaty, tired Harry Potter in my arms.

"I…I'm sorry." He mumbled and fumbled till his hot hand wrapped around me, and I'm not ashamed to say that that was all it took for me; I was so horny so wound up that one touch from him was all it took for me to empty myself all over my stomach and him.

Harry chuckled and kissed my jaw. "Looks like we're both eherm." He mumbled his voice sleepy.

"Yeah." I muttered and buried my fingers in his still wet hair. "So…come back to England with me?"

I felt him tense in my arms but I wasn't about to let go so easily. "Colin I-"

"I'll be there with you Harry. Whenever you need me I'll be there just…give it a chance? Let me help you, let me find someone to help you through this." I pleaded and kissed his head. "Please?"

He didn't say anything for a few seconds but eventually he sighed and gave one curt nod. "Fine."

We laid there for I don't know how long, it could have been minutes, or hell even _days_ drifting out of sleep, dozing, kissing; it was wonderful. Until someone cleared their throat and I sat up to see none other than Ginny Weasley standing in the doorway, one shoulder propped up against the door with her arms crossed. "I knew it…" She sighed, grabbed a camera off the dresser, snapped a photo of Harry and I on the bed then threw the camera at us. "Mum was right. I'll send Charlie for my things." And then she disapperated.

**OOO**

Things weren't easy after that, Harry really needed help. I found him a good wizard therapist the second we got back to London but the hard part was getting him to see Mrs. Weasley. I needed someone trustworthy to watch him while I found an apartment for us plus I needed to smooth things over with Ginny. In the end due to begging and pleading he finally relented and we both turned up on the Burrows front steps.

"Well it seems like you're just full of surprises aren't you?" Bill stated with a raised eyebrow as soon as he opened the door. "Well come on in. Hi Harry, nice to see you." He clapped Harry on the back as we walked in. "Mum's in the living room knitting Christmas gifts."

Wearily Harry and I went in to see her and Ginny sitting there both with a pile of yarn on their laps knitting.

"Hey. I brought Harry." I sent them a half smile and waved.

Immediately Mrs. Weasley jumped up and began pinching and coddling Harry then started doing the same to me. "Oh Colin! Thank you, it's been _months_ since I've seen him!" She kissed Harry's cheek and messed up his hair.

"I'm sorry Ginny." Was the first thing Harry chose to say. "I…yes. I cheated on you with Colin. Kind of…not _really_ but I'll spare the details." He blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "I owe you a massive apology but I also owe Colin a massive thank you for-"

"It's okay Harry." Mrs. Weasley pulled him close, cutting him off. "We understand. We aren't exactly _happy_ about the way he went about it but we understand. He loves you and look! Now you're here in England!" She smiled up at me. "Go on Colin, go do what you need to while Harry and I have a nice, long chat."

Before I turned to leave I looked at Ginny. "I'm truly sorry Ginny."

"I know." Was all she said, but she looked sort of relieved and the slightest bit sympathetic.

**OOO**

Getting to know Harry wasn't as easy as I always thought it would be and living with him was even harder. He had dark days where he would leave everything everywhere then good days where he would clean and organize everything; he kept to himself which made it difficult to learn what he liked and hated but it was all part of growing and honestly? I liked it.

I liked not being alone and I liked taking each day as they came with Harry, even if it wasn't like living in a fairy tale.

During the week I worked at a desk job for a small muggle company while Harry had therapy sessions; he said pretty soon he might be ready to go out there and get a job. On the weekends we'd go over to the Burrow and surprisingly everyone was happy with the situation, even Ginny.

Well happy might be stretching it; she wasn't ecstatic about the way she and Harry broke up but she saw that he was now happier and moving on slowly with his life. She was also moving on, she got her own apartment in London and was able to spend more time with her Quidditch team; I also heard from Ron that one of the guys on the team is interested in asking her out. All in all, things were going pretty good.

In the end life wasn't easy. But no one said it would be; deep down I just knew life with Harry would be worth it.

Worth It ~ End 


End file.
